Circle the Moon

The fog cloaked everything in new garb; even the most innocent sapling turned dark and sinister. She was waiting for John. He was late and she was getting worried. A small crease formed between Sara's eyes as she strained to see beyond the thickening mist. John had chosen this night for the two of them to meet because of the full moon. Its glow would help them get to their special clearing without flashlights.

She glanced skyward and shifted her position slightly on the tree she was resting against, trying to gain a better view of the unusual moon. The fog had softened its edges; muting its light and making her feel as though she was seeing a reflection on water. Surrounding its outer rim, a thin white ring tinged with red and humped like a ripple gave more emphasis to the watery illusion.

Sara shivered and closed her eyes against her wandering imagination. It was bad enough, she thought, worrying about John's tardiness, the last thing she needed to do was make herself scared too. With eyes still shut, she tipped her head back to the tree and drew in several slow breaths, attempting to clear her mind and think of what she should do.

John should have been here a while ago. In fact, she was surprised he had not arrived at the clearing before her. Although she was not a habitually late person, John's compulsiveness for always being fifteen minutes early for everything sometimes made her conscience prick at her laxer attitude. It had to be the fog. Unable to summon the memory of when it had first shown up to encompass everything she decided it was the only plausible explanation for John's current absence. Not once did she consider - not even for even a moment - that he had changed his mind.

She cast her mind back several days to the evening that was the catalyst for tonight's rendezvous. On her eighteenth birthday, her parents were in such a festive mood she decided to share her news. She told them that she and John were in love and had decided to get married. Those few happy and excited words had lead to her current situation. First, her mother had tried cajoling and pleading with her to change her mind.

"What about school, Sara? You have been accepted to three different colleges! Please! Don't throw away all your hard work on a boy you have only known for a short while."

Her mother had burst into tears then and wrapped her into a tight hug, begging her to change her mind the whole while. If John had not prepared her for this eventuality, she would have broken down in her mother's arms and given into the heart-wrenching tears. However, it was her father's words that had stiffened her spine and strengthened her resolve to marry John.

"That fella is at least ten years older than you, what kind of pervert chases after school girls?"

"Daddy! John is twenty-four; he's only six years older than me. You're eight years older than mom. How could you say he's a pervert? You don't even know him! He's a wonderful person and he loves me!"

"I do know that boy. He worked at the plant four years ago and I had to fire him for coming to work drunk!"

"He told me about that. He said he had been out late the night before and had a couple of drinks. Then he fell asleep at a friend's house so he didn't get a chance to shower or brush his teeth. He said he tried to explain to you why he smelled like alcohol and you would not listen. You didn't even give him a chance."

Her dad looked so sad then and his voice lost its angry cadence.

"Honey, it wasn't the first time he came to work drunk. I tried to get him into a program through work to help him get his life together but he wouldn't attend meetings. He didn't want to change."

"I don't believe you. John was right. He said you would say all these things and try to make him look like the bad guy."

Disappointment surged through her, leaving her feeling sick and disillusioned in its wake. John had told her how her father would react and she had argued with him. Defending her parents, she said that they loved her and only wanted her happiness. She wanted to run at that moment in light of her father's words and cry out her betrayal.

"I cannot allow you to do this, Sara. Your mother is right; you have worked too diligently to squander your future on a man that loves the bottle like John does. There have been stories of his recklessness when he drinks. I will not risk your safety. You are not going to marry him and you are going to college. You'll meet someone closer to your age, someone with a future."

"Dad! You can't--"

"Enough! We can talk about this tomorrow after everyone has calmed down. I am sure once you take some time to think this through, you will see your mother and I are right."

***

Sara left the house, hot tears burning tracks down her cheeks unchecked. Her stomach churned with acid as it always did after big confrontations. Her teeth and hands clenched tightly, she began to run. Her determined stride did not falter or slow as she leapt over dead fall and dodged low hanging branches, making her way to her special clearing in the forest. When she finally stopped running, her muscles quivered in outrage at their misuse and refused to hold her upright any longer. Falling forward into the clearing, she barely got her hands raised in time to break her fall and push herself over. She lay on her back, with her arms and legs spread wide as though she were a sacrifice on a pagan alter.

She heard the sound of footsteps approaching and could not summon the strength to turn her head. All of her attention was focused on breathing. Chest rising to fill with crisp, woodland scents over and over until her heart began to slow again. The dizziness and its resulting spots started to recede, allowing her to see clearly John's concerned face hovering above her. He held her then as she cried out her sorrow. His hand inscribed slow circles of comfort on her back as he whispered soft words of love and commiseration.

She was unsure how long they stayed in that comforting pose before the gentle kisses he pressed to the crown of her head progressed downward to her lips. He shifted his embrace as he kissed away the tears from her eyes and cheeks, following their trail down her neck, tenderly nibbling the sensitive skin there. She made no motions to stop him until he made a fumbling grab for her breast and thrust his tongue into her mouth. She could taste alcohol and the stale cigarettes he had sworn to her he didn't smoke anymore. An insidious worm of doubt crawled through her thoughts, making her wonder if her father had spoken the truth about John. Then he was apologizing, telling her he had just been caught up in the moment and by her beauty in the moonlight. He told her he could wait 'til they were married, like he promised. He was after all, a man of his word. Squelching down hard on her momentary doubts, she hugged him fiercely and told him everything was all right.

The two of them had begun to develop their plan to elope. They would meet by the light of the full moon and escape to Las Vegas to get married. John would borrow his roommate's motorcycle while she gathered all of the money she had saved for college. He wanted to get married at the first chapel they came to on the strip so they could honeymoon and do some gambling before he had to return to work the following Monday. Although it was not the dream wedding her and her mother had fantasized about, she was resigned to the reality of her parent's disapproval. He was right once again; they would never accept him until they saw how happy he made her.

Sneaking out to meet at their secret clearing had been easier than she had anticipated. When she returned home that night she let her parents see her unhappiness with their decision. Then, she refused to speak to them about John, letting them believe by her silence that she had accepted her father's decree. Cautioning herself to restraint, she circled the full moon symbol on her calendar in red ink, when what she longed to do was circle the whole day and fill it with stars and hearts. Each time Sara left the house she crammed clothing and money into her over sized purse. Depositing the contents into the smallish blue duffel bag John had left for her in the trees surrounding her parent's home. They had agreed not to meet again until the night of the full moon, when they would race towards their prospective life together.

Something was wrong. Sara's heart ceased its normal rhythm for a more upbeat tempo and her head began to throb. She could remember her dad telling her that he was sorry she was still so upset but it would be better for her future if she stayed away from John. In the face of his obvious love, she had almost told her father the truth in that instant but she turned away before she could betray herself. Next, she remembered climbing out her window after her parents had gone to sleep, then retrieving her duffel and then... nothing!

Opening her eyes in fear, the first thing she saw was the hazy moon. The outer ring had tripled in size and taken on a deep, bloody-red hue now. Making the loss of her memories seem small and reminding her of a strangely deranged iris, cranking up her fear another notch. She decided to grab her stuff and go home, she would climb back in her window and call John to reassure herself of his safety and make plans for another night. Looking down to the base of the tree for her bag, she was shocked to discover she could no longer see her feet. The rapid building of the fog while she had waited and visited with her memories was like nothing she had ever seen before. Everything beneath mid-thigh was lost to the shifting, silvery-grey mass. Fine, she thought, trying to get her escalating fear under control, I'll leave the duffel and go home, who cares what happened to John, he certainly doesn't care about me. Sara stopped before her next step could be taken, frozen in place by the idea of forgetting about John.

Sudden pain ripped through the right side of her body and stole the breath from her lungs; crushing agony bloomed in her head opening her mind to her missing memories. Her soul-wrenching scream went unheard, as the fog absorbed the sound into itself but did nothing to slow Sara's fall to the earth. Once again, she lay on her back in the clearing, this time she saw only the tainted moon staring back at her.

John had met her in their clearing as they had planned. He had chattered excitedly of all the things they would do and see in Vegas. She had grown quiet when she smelled the booze on his breath. She did not say anything, fearing John would change his mind and their future together would start on a sour note. When they reached the motorcycle, he pulled on a sleek, black helmet and told her to leave the bag and get on the back of the bike. He told her he had forgotten the spare helmet and the bungee cords for securing the bag at his place. When she suggested waiting for him to go and return for her, he cajoled her into going with him saying it was a short ride and he was a careful driver. She let her love blind her.

John took the back roads, making the bike shriek with effort as it struggled to reach the speeds he was demanding from it. She squeezed her eyes shut and locked her arms around his waist, not caring that he was laughing at her fear. They must have hit something, for suddenly she was flying weightlessly through the air; then, she was crashing into the tree that crushed the right side of her skull.

This was her punishment for not listening to her parents and believing in a liar like John, she thought. There was nothing left but the moon above her now and the ring of red she had drawn there. Sara closed her eyes. When she opened them again, the fog cloaked everything in new garb; even the most innocent sapling turned dark and sinister. She was waiting for John. He was late and she was getting worried.

You just never know,

Rain